Knew it!!!

Gggggggrrrrrr! Hate feeling like this. This is y I avoid it.

Yes I'm smiling like an idiot and I get the butterflies at the thought of seeing someone, but on the downside to it....the butterflies turn to stones and nerves because I'm living from moment to moment of when I see them next.....and then there's the freaking out about whether I look cute or not...when I will see them again and freaking caring if he calls or txts me and dissecting EVERYTHING to figure out what it all means!

Le sigh. Le BIG freaking sigh......



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A Modern Day Persuasion by Kaitlin Saunders

I thought this was a lovely adaptation of Persuasion. It's very modern and present day, but doesn't lose any of the essential story or characters. This story is very much what I imagine Austen would write for our world today. Seeing it in these newer more updated terms also helped me understand different facets and see the story in a new light. Yes, I'm still romantic and wish no one had persuaded Anne away from Cpt Wentworth when they were young, but if they were 18 and had no education or money, it wouldn't be reasonable for them to marry nowadays. There is more complexity than i would have admitted to before and it's not black and white romantic and tragic...it's also very realistic and practical. And I like when a book gives me something new to chew on.

Also, mid-book I noticed the religious undertones. A lot of praying and thanking God, and at the wedding a reading of a bible passage...normally I don't like religion in my stories (my own issues) but I thought is was done really well and wasn't just thrown in for the sake of being religious or preachy, but came across as subtle and meshed well with what was happening in the story so it in no way detracted from either Saunders or Austen. Kudos.


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Much Ado About Nothing...

Thanks to the reading challenge I decided to do this year, I am actually and finally reading books I always "wanted" and "meant" to read. Much Ado About Nothing is one such book. The title says it all! What a big hoopla we make about something like love. I absolutely loved the quick and funny wit of Beatrice and Benedick (like many others, I am sure). Even when they are fighting, they are hilarious and I can't help but quote their better insults.

Hero and Claudio are lame. Hero for taking Claudio back after what a d-bag he was and Claudio for being so hot tempered, malicious, and fickle. Dogberry and his watchmen are the comic relief, but having seen the Much Ado About Nothing movie (I loved it so much I bought the DVD), I can't stop picturing Michael Keaton's silly performance.

If you read the book, I recommend u watch the 1993 movie. It does it much justice and who can say no to a cast that includes Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington, Kate Beckinsale, and Keanu Reeves?! Definitely a book I will re-read many times, till I'm sure I can quote many lines.

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Witch Baby

I don't that I can really say much about this book. It always makes me cry. Every. Single. Time. I don't know what t is, but seeing the world through tilty purple eyes and feeling the overwhelming sadness and loneliness Witch Baby has always raises a lump in my throat, tear tracks in my pillow, and a dull ache in my heart. Everyone is so caught up in their own world and lives, they ignore a very special, very soulfully little witch baby who wants to find her place.


My favorite/the worst part is when she sees Coyote so sad because they are cutting the trees across the street. He has 5 Joshua Tree seeds he cherishes and shows the baby witch. He tells her that trees are spirits and if you are quiet enough you can hear them when you hug them and leaves too sad from the cut trees to even eat. Witch baby stole his seeds before he left and plants them in the same place where they just tore down the old trees hoping one day she and Coyote will hear them talking.

The next day Coyote wakes her up and yells at her about the seeds saying they will not grow outside of the desert and that they are basically wasted. Poor Witch Baby spends the next 3 nights digging with a flashlight and her nails trying to get is seeds back for him because she feels so bad. She only stops because Dirk finds her one night and takes her home.

I can't praise this book enough. I love it. The language, the message, the main character, the plot. "Why is the city called Los Angeles when there are no angels here....it should be called Los Diablos"

Will probably read at least 20 more times and keep crying every time. The day I read it and I don't cry, I will have to take a look at myself and my values.


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The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross

I actually liked the story and the Steampunk fabulousness made it that much more enjoyable. That being said, it was a little predictable and there is no resolution in the end, which is frustrating and leaves me unsatisfied.You do end up finding out why the duality of Finley Jayne exists and I thought that was a very clever plot twist. I personally like the Duke, but am partial to the crime lord myself, Jack Dandy is real honest for being a scummy jerk.

The elements are fantastic in their nature, but a few days after a broken clavicle, a girl who heals normally is ready to go into action again, and there are always inventions that just happen to solve an issue or move the plot, sometimes a little TOO fantastic and outside of realism. The plot moved a little slow, and at some points kind of dragged with a lot of fluff. Again, I did enjoy the book. I have already recommended it friends who like the Steampunk genre and light reads knowing the will enjoy it too. Not to be taken to serious and enjoyed for what it is.


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Sense And Sensibility

I did enjoy this book, but not as much as I enjoy other works of Miss Austen. For starters, I find the sisters unlikeable and unrealistic. Marianne is too passionate and Elinor too confined in her emotions. I dislike Edward almost completely and think that the early engagement he had with Lucy, makes him foolish and passionate and more a match for Marianne than Elinor. I did like Colonel Brandon. He is probably the only character to keep my affection for the whole of this very long book. I think he and Elinor had a nice friendship and shared intimacies that would have made them a good match.

Miss Austen's style of writting is also more passionate than in other books and couldn't help but suck you in for some parts, but realistically, for me it was too long to tell the story it told and had more fluff to fill pages than was needed. I've read P&P at least 30 times and have loved Persuassion, so this is by no means a knock on Austen books. I just know what I like and this book was okay, but a little bland for my tastes. Maybe I've just outgrown it.


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In the mood for some fluffy romance...

Super sweet love story, which I was totally in the mood for. Saccharine. A playboy royal finds that to inherit his fathers title and fortune he has to be married by his 36 birthday. He tries to use an agency to find him an appropriate woman willing to play wife, under contract for one year exactly to fulfill the Wills needs. Instead of the chosen ladies, he propositions the owner of the business, promising to see to the financial upkeep of her very I'll sister in addition to the millions, if only she goes along. Fast paced and entertaining. Perfect if u need a quick feel good kinda book.


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Weetzie Bat book 1...Lanky Lizards!

Rosa Folgar's review Nov 11, 11

Read from November 10 to 11, 2011

The writting style is very unique and reads quickly, more like poetry than a novel. You either like it or hate it. I think it's different and I liked it. No, I wouldn't want ALL my books written like this, but it's the authors own distinctive flavor and it helps juxtapose some of the real topics with the ridiculous fairy tale she throws in. I come from LA and I love the familiar and nostalgic about the settings and location. I go to Rage (at least once or twice a month) and I walk down Hollywood Boulevard. I know the marketplace on Fairfax and the Kaiser on Sunset. Also I have my own Dirk, and we are still looking for our own ducks. The parallels are enough that reading this story never fails to confuse me and give me hope at the same time. Some things are a little too magical and nonsensical. Like the genie, the baby with 3 dads idea, the Lanka, and the language, but it all kind of fits with the gauzy old Hollywood world Block creates.

Under 200 pages. Very quick read, you probably spend more time processing and understanding what you read than actually reading it, but I will definitely recommend and read it again.
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Frankenstein or Modern Day Promethius

Rosa Folgar's review Nov 10, 11 · edit

Read in November, 2011

Having never seen any Frankenstein movie and never read the book before, I wasn't sure what to expect except the stereotypical bolts in neck monster with a square head and silly speech that gets created by a mad scientist in a creepy castle and I was sure in the end there was going to be angry villagers with torches...oh and an Igor. Boy was I WRONG!! This story was not horror in the scare you creepy tale we think, but it was deplorable and sad how utterly SELFISH Victor Frankenstein is. That was the horrific part. How can people (him specifically) treat a creature, any creature, but most especially a creature HE created with his own two hands with so much contempt? He makes this Being and then blames him for evils and abominations. Ummmm..hello? You created him.

Sorry, really made me upset. I blame Disney. It anthropamorphizes every inanimate object, so of course I would feel more keenly for a sentient being. The creature is rational and leans (all self taught) and speaks more eloquently than any other character in the book. All he ever wanted was a connection. He gets rejected by society, rejected by his creator and denied a mate, eventually he finds the connection thru making his creator his nemesis. And even loses that. His whole life is one big tragic tale. I'm glad I read it. It was an interesting story, even if it did boil my blood and incite violence from time to time. It did not endear me to the romantics, but I did enjoy it. I was bored when Shelly goes on about the beauty of this mountain or that lake (mostly because it was Victor showing more passion for scenery than his creation, but I can't help it). I think everyone should read this book. It teaches more about our own inhumanity in being humans and to me Victor was a hundred times more a monster than ever his creation was.
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The Strange Case of Finley Jayne

This is a quick read novella, less than 10 chapters long, and i feel it does it's job of introducing us to Finley, how she is different from other girls her age, and her world. As this is a prequel to the authors soon to be released book, it is expected that you finish it having more questions than answers. I definitely do want to read the proceeding book.

Finely is stronger than most girls, she can lift weights many times heavier than herself and has a dark part of her that is cold, calculating, and has a propensity for violence. This dark other self comes in handy when a very rich madam of the upper eschalons of society hires her to be her daughters companion after hearing she punched out a governess. Finely accepts because she needs the job and money, but soon after meeting the daughter and her new fiancé, she finds there is an alternate reason she was chosen as a companion.

Good female protagonist. Going to read the next book.

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Death Blows...a throwback to good female protagonists

Rosa Folgar's review Nov 04, 11 · edit

Read from February 07 to November 04, 2011

I love the premise of this series. Jace reminds me of a young Anita Blake (Laurel K Hamilton) only before she became a total slutty harem holder....back to young kick ass Anita vampire hunter, who was someone a girl could look up to. That's Jace. She is sarcastic and independent and can handle herself around werewolves, vampires, golems, and psychos.

In this book, she pauses her hunt for Bram Stoker when murders hit those close to her. Namely, Gretchen's baby-daddy who gets found in a Flash costume, on a treadmill, struck by lightning and a green skeleton. From there, the murders get curiouser and curiouser. While she is trying to tie all the crazy murders together and solve them, she is learning more about the universe she is stuck in and defining her life in it and her relationships with its inhabitants (Charlie, Cassius, Pete...)

I would have given this book a 5, except I kept getting lost with all the comic book talk. In fact, I still don't really understand some of what happened and it's my second time reading it....i just vaguely get to the outcome. I looked up the author and found out he is a comic book nut so it's to be expected and in a couple of ways, It's kind of refreshing. As someone who reads a lot of urban fantasy/preternatural romance, it sometimes seems like we are recycling the same plots and characters over and over again. This was a welcome, if confusing, change (I dont read, follow or like comics).

I both loved and hated the twist at the end with Dr Pete/Tair. It actually made me tear up....But I can't wait to see where he goes w it. The other thing was the shock at finding out the author was male. Not that I care either way, but kudos on getting so convincingly inside a woman's head. Not just anyone can do that as well as this author. Definitely going to read the third book. Have to follow Jace in her adventures (hopefully I understand them more) and find out if she ever makes it back to our universe...or if at the end she even wants to. And I'm rooting for Dr Pete.
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Cry Wolf- The Alpha and Omega Series

Cry Wolf by Patricia Briggs

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I really liked Charles in the Mercy books, but in this series that revolves around him and his Omega mate, it was clinched, I'm in love. We only get glimpses of him and his stoic Alpha personality in the Mercy books and all that does is build up the mystery. Same with Bran. In this book we get a lot more of an insight in Bran the Marrok and Bran the man and Father. I even liked the info we get with on his mate Leah.

This is a really quick read. It's still sweet and romantic if that's what ur in the mood for, which I was. Ana and Charles are still getting comfortable with each other while trying to cement their mate bond and her bond with the pack. There is some rouge drawing attention to himself in the backwoods of the Marrok's territory and he sends Chales and Ana to take care of it. The threat is not just a rouge, it's a girl and a wolf with a tie to Asil. It takes everything they have to survive and defeat this threat before it takes over all the wolves in North America.

On to book 2...



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Yay...book 40 celebrated by being a book I actually loved <3

Alpha & Omega: A Companion Novella to Cry Wolf by Patricia Briggs

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


After reading through a lot of un-edited self published books that are less than stellar, it is good to curl up with a favorite author and familiar characters you love. <3

This was originally part of an anthology On The Prowl in which Briggs collaborated in 2007. It belongs in the Mercy Thompson Universe and definitely includes some familiar characters, while introducing a new main character for the Alpha And Omega Series.

Back in the beginning Mercy Books, a young boy was turned and sold by the Alpha of the Chicago Pack, Leo, to crazies who were trying to develop potent drugs for werewolves. This is a side story that explains why Leo tempted the Marrok's wrath.

His son, Charles is sent to Chicago to get answers and execute justice on behalf of the Marrok, the leader of all the Alphas and all weres in the USA. He meets Anna, a wolf in Leo's pack who is an Omega. A wolf not dominant and not submissive, but outside Pack hierarchy. Omegas are rare, like very very rare and normally get protected and treated as the gifts they are to a pack. Anna unfortunately was turned into a werewolf against her knowledge or will and has been raped, abused, beaten and almost broken for the last three years.

Something is VERY wrong with Leo's pack and it's up to Charles to figure it out and help Anna. Complicating matters is the fact that Charles's wolf has claimed Anna as his mate dragging Charles and Anna along for the ride.

This is a very quick read (probably because it is well written and flows well at a good pace...and is exciting), but it is also a sweet story that breaks my heart and is a wonderful surprise all in one go. I liken it to a good chick flick you curl up with somedays when you just feel like crud and need something u know you love to make u believe in love and people again.



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Self publishing, both a blessing and a curse...

There is a fine line I never respected and appreciated until now that exists in Urban Fantasy. Yes, the plots and story lines are fiction and unrealistic (ie Furred, Fanged, or Fey) but at the same time the story has to be realistic (characters, thoughts, actions, outcomes). I love that more people are putting stories out there, and I respect them for it and envy their courage, but at the same time, now EVERY ING IS FANFICTION. Yes, there are some gems and some really good authors that have the opportunity to be discovered, but to find those gems there is a lot of crap u have to sift through.

I appreciate book editors now and they have my love and support. Someone else has to do all the crap digging for me and has to help fix books that have a lot of potential. If ur book has the sentence...."before he waked her".... that is basic grammar and English u r killing. At the very least get a Beta to edit for u. Fan fiction is great and I love both reading and writing it, but one good idea on it's own, does not a good book make.

Reading this Grey Wolves book I got. I purchased it because it was about wolves and had multiple 5 star ratings. I don't know if I just need a break from books or if this book really is that bad.

First off, the main characters names are Jacque and Fane. Already I'm annoyed....it's just ur average small town girl in butt-ville USA Cinderella story. I knew that when I got it, but you can't have it both ways. You cannot have a "down to earth" Sally USA story and give ur characters names like Jacque and Fane. Maybe the Romanian Wolf boy, foreign exchange student can work as a Fane, but with other characters like Jen, Sally, Trent...etc Out of nowhere...Jacque. A small detail, but a huge pet peeve. Like having her meet and be the mate of an Alpha werewolf doesn't make her special enough?

There is also a ridiculous amount of Romanian in the book. It doesn't add to the story and it doesn't help the plot. Has the feel of it being there just because the author can. It was painfully distracting and again, in no way added to the story. A little would have been fine and does help define Fane's character, but having it in almost every single page makes for more a distraction than anything else. I appreciate it, but I didn't sign up to learn Romanian and still don't want to, thanks.

The beginning is incredibly slow in moving the plot. Yes the "action" starts right away with Fane moving in across the street and the whole mind reading thing and other wolves in the area, but so many pages were just random Drabble. There is a lot of describing cute quips and inside jokes that again, seem like they should add to the characters, but don't. It also made me want to rip out my eyeballs to have something like the first 5 chapters be the EXACT SAME THING over and over and over again. Something happens and we read about it, and next chapter is the exact same event through someone else's perspective, and Lord Help Me, but then Jacque has to relay events to her two besties so then we have to hear about it again.... I don't know how I haven't ripped out my hair from sheer frustration.

The characters are flat and one dimensional. A good story has full bodied characters even in the ones that aren't the protagonist. Each character should have his or her own voice and flavor, each one after all has their own story. With the exception of the main characters, everyone else was a bland attempt at supporting cast that comes across more like movie extras or back-up doo woppers to the Fane-Jacque experience. Her friends drop everything they are doing to sleep over at her house...she is upset at her mom so one of them walks her back to her room and pops in her favorite Evanescence CD for her...His host dad has no life so he is ready and available to take Fane to get a motorcycle at his whim, and the license and helmet too...His host parents tell him that he basically doesn't have to tell them where he goes and what he does because he is practically a grown man and it's not their business (cop out).

There is so much potential and at it's kernel, I think there is a small flame of good idea and story, but there needs to be someone to fan the flame and control it, not letting it burn down the forest in the process.

My Blood Approves by Amanda Hocking

I see where the story is going and I can see the potential of the plot, but I had a lot of issues w this book.

It took like 80 pages for me to remember or care about the name of the protagonist. I put the book down somewhere around ch 4 with no intention of ever picking it up again. If it wasn't for my friend MAKING me finish it, I would have gladly carried on with my life not knowing or caring what happens.

I started amusing myself by highlighting everything that annoyed me and have notations on a lot of pages. I hate the name dropping. I get it, her charact is wearing a hoody and is listening to music...y do I need to know that she is listening to The White Stripes and wearing an American Eagle Outfitters sweater? Completely unnecessary and 100% annoying when it's done EVERY SINGLE TIME they change clothes or listen to music. I get it, the author likes bands.

Finally, about half way through the book it starts to pick up, enough that I am willing to say it was kind of worth it. I was all a flutter w anticipation wanting an explanation and I thought the heroine was kind of lax on needing things explained. Then again, she is hard to like and totally dense. Her boyfriend or whatever and his family never eat in front of her, they are cold to the touch w little pulse, they are perfect and beautiful, they are super strong and immune to disease.....okay, in real life maybe I wouldn't want to seem crazy and yell "vampire" at the top of my lungs, but I wouldn't be as airheaded oblivious as she seems to be. It's like if I had a guy best friend....hmmm? I've never seen him kiss or be with a girl....he says he has girlfriends and I've never met any of them....he has a fabulous sense of fashion....he loves Glee and broadway musicals....what going on?

This is not to knock on homosexuals or to imply that this behavior automatically implies gay, but realistically, the thought at least crosses ur mind, right?

When things finally kind of get explained, the book wanes again. The likable characters are Jack and the Esme character (oops, I mean.....whatever the mom vampire's name is).

That was another thing. The similarities with this and Twilight are enough that u can confuse them. All in all, it was a quick read, I wouldn't really recommend to a friend unless they had extra time to kill and nothing better to do. I read it cuz I have a book reading challenge and I need the numbers. Haven't decided if I will read the next ones.


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The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

I think this is my favorite book thus far of Sherlock Holmes. In this book we see a more human Sherlock who doesn't solve the case and gets it wrong. We are introduced to Mycroft, Sherlock's brother who is even more genius, but more lazy (love him) and at the very end meet the ever elusive Moriarty, who catches Holmes. We even have narratives of cases in Holmes own words.

Again, I love the short story format, since the stories flow consecutively, but can stand on their own, it's easy to squeeze one in before bed (whiteout getting dragged in to finishing a whole book and losing sleep) or at lunch or something. Big moment at the end w Holmes and Moriarty.


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The darkest powers end?

This series, The Darkest Powers Series, is one of my absolute favorite YA stories. Because Armstrong is already an established writer for adult the Urban Fantasy genre, she doesn't baby the reader or patronize them. Inthink she is very skilled at telling a youthful story with likable (and realistic) characters even while telling a tale that is fantastical.

That being said, I will be critical of the whole Demi-Demon thing as the "escape" help Chloe used. Even though it was established in the previous book, it seemed a little random and felt like a cop out. A little too Dues est machina for my taste. Also, we got SOME closure, but it left me wanting a little more. I HAVE read the first book in the following trilogy, and some characters cross over (Davidoff etc) not the heroes, if I remember correctly, which is a shame cuz I am would love to read what happens next.

My fav thing about Armstrong is how passionate she is about writing all the stories in her head and she sometimes rewards us w novellas of our fav characters. I hope Chloe or better yet Derek gets one. Gotta run.....working.

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a year ago some douche stole my dog... I was really upset so I painted this...today I celebrate getting him back =)

The Awakening...short and sweet...like Derek =D

I might be a little bias because I love Derek so much, but I really enjoyed this book, and mostly because it reveals more about him and the whole werewolf thing. I'm partial for dark and broody and I think he is the underdog just cuz Simon is so likable and uch a good guy.

It was a surprise to have Tory join the gang and have Rae betray Chloe. I'm going to keep this short cuz I finished it at wrk. Moving on to book three......and some answers hopefully...also more Derek too =D

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Re-reading the HP series....Sorcerer's Stone

Not as ground breaking and amazing as I remember, but then again, I have to put it I to context. I'd only ever read this book twice before (when I started the series and right before the first movie) and that was over ten years ago. Also, I have to remember that it is a children's book, and it kind of kills it a little for me to know so vividly what the outcome is and still read patiently through the set up. I did enjoy a lot of small details I had forgotten. I had a "oh yeah" moment at the end when the first question Harry asks is why Voldemort wanted to kill him and Dumbledore tells him he is too young, but he will tell him when he is older.

I did enjoy re-visiting the beginning of all the friendships and relationships the characters start especially when I know where they will go. It made me a little sad when in reading the book, I found a lot of the movie scenes melded into the scenes of my head. Like, before the movies I used to picture something a certain way, and after, it's Chris Columbus' and Danielle Radcliff's way or David Yates and Alfonso Cuaron's visions instead of my own. Can't knock it. This is the book I "borrowed" from a school classroom. It's the spark that fanned the flame for myself and millions of other people all over the world. My favorite elements are already set. Snape the tragic hero, who I LOVED from the first book!!!! The golden trio. Neville <3. the awesome mix of fantastical and ordinary so that it seems perfectly logical to go to a midnight showing, wait a few hours, dress up and take a wand......and it's normal. Now to work my way up to number 7.


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The Summoning...Darkest Powers Trilogy

I really enjoy Kelley Armstrong books, and to have one in YA is a special treat. This is the first in her Darkest Powers trilogy. In this book we r introduced to the characters and main plot points. Chloe is a fifteen year old girl who at the start of puberty starts seeing ghosts. Grown ups, including her beloved aunt Lauren, call crazy and she is diagnosed schizophrenic and moved to a special group home for kids with mental disorders.

At Lyle House, she meets her roommate Liz (who thinks she has a poltergeist haunting her), Rae (who wants to be special and has a penchant for fire), Tory (the daughter of a board member and at Lyle House the longest for her moody outbursts), Simon (the blond Korean kid with artistic flair and easy going personality...and no file), and Derek (the genius child-man who puberty gave a "smack down" to).

Basically sooner rather than later Chloe starts finding out something isn't right and maybe she isn't so much a schizo as a necromancer. Lyle House has it's secrets and each kid has his own story. The boys r brothers and something happened to their dad and CPS dumped them at Lyle House after "an accident" in which Derek left a kid unable to walk (we later find out some punks were harassing Simon for his ethnic background and pulled a knife on him so he flung the kid off to protect his brother). He is violent and grumpy and hiding his own super power from Chloe. The boys know about supernatural races and r the ones who tell Chloe what she is. After a series of events and mounting unrest they decide to run away w Chloe to try and find their dad.

On the night of the planned escape, a lot goes wrong. Chloe learns what Derek really is, she learns what Lyle House is really about, and is betrayed left and right.

I don't know that the book is good as a stand alone. It prob won't b something I read over and over for it's own merit, but it does it's job in establishing the story and characters. My only real complaint is Chloe's character being a weak little rich girl, but then again, she is a little rich girl w no real life experience and she has to have somewhere to grow from and develop as a character. She is into films and will talk herself up to something or thru something by framing it as a script or scene for a movie and that was a bit distracting, but along w Chloe, as the reader, first u r ignorant and safe in what u believe is the normal world around you, until u start digging a little deeper and start to question and grow and make ur own decisions about what is real or possible and who is really on ur side and what u need to do to survive. Still love it and recommend to any fan of YA, Kelley Armstrong, or Supernatural YA/romance.


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Laurell K Hamilton woes....do I even want to risk it?

What happened to Laurell K Hamilton? She used to be my all time favorite author. Anita was the shiz. She kicked butt and snuggled up to the monsters.....then somewhere along the way, it became less vampire hunter kick ass girl book and more ridiculous magic vagina, harem porn.

What happened? I used to reserve copies and die w anticipation and now my eyes glaze over all the useless sex that is used as fluff to cover up that there is no plot (and that's the part that pisses me off the most). I would skip all the annoying pages, but that leaves only a handful left. Definitely not enough to wipe ur butt with. I miss the good old days of monsters (u killed, not slept with to defeat) and when she had a conscience. She also used to be more vulnerable. It complimented and rounded her out well cuz she was such a hard ass, now she's just emo. And hoe-y. Not someone I want to b anymore.

I'm going to re-read the series. 1) I need the meat 20 books add to my goal and 2) I wanna see if I can find when it all went to pot. I was 18 when I started the series. Ten years ago, let's see how much Anita has changed. And let's find out if I have changed as well.


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Mockingjay....a disapointment.

I'm very unfair, but I don't think I liked this book. It was sad, and real, and I hate that. So many people die. Characters I've grown to love and care for as if they were real people that I just don't know. Maybe with some time, I'll come to accept it for the good story it is, but I wanted my happy ending.

I didn't want a scarred acceptance.

For now, tired and sleepy, it feels like I sacrificed good rest for nothing because although the realism cannot be denied, I feel cheated from the good feeling that books are supposed to award. Kat and Peeta end up together and are broken. And it seems they stay together more because they fit with no one else than because they love each other.

I really can't express how angry I am at this ending. Now, I'm debating whether I even want to go see the stupid movie.


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Catching Fire...a series ablaze

Part 2 of The Hunger Games. I guess u can't judge a book by it's cover. My eyes have been skimming these books for at least a year, I couldn't understand y they were such best sellers. The covernof a bird in a metal circle made me think army/government kind of thing and that is NOT my schtick. Luckily I finally read the descriptions and zipped thru book one. Book two holds even more of my attention.

This book is about the aftermath. It's about consequences and a rebellion. I wish the beginning wasn't so much a recall of event that happened and more immediate occurrence. I would have liked to witness first hand Kat and Peeta getting back home. I would have loved to see Kat meet Gale on her return or after the wedding gowns.

I love that this one focuses more on Kat and Peeta and the rebellion, than the games.

I was trying to space it out for my own benefit because i just knewvit was going to end in a cliff hanger and would want to dive right in to the third one. As predicted, I'm logging into Amazon and getting the third one as soon as I finish this review....so yeah.


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The Hunger Games: Hungry for more...

I fell head head over heels in love with this book and story. Seriously, I have a new favorite.

I love dystopian society books. Ever since I read The Hatchet. This whole survival and primal struggle to live is so riveting. Reminds me how blessed and pampered I am. Hungry? Nuke something, order in, whatever. Minimal effort. Cold? Snuggle up in my memory foam mattess bed. Hot? Turn on the AC. Bored? Find one of A MILLION things I can do. Would I be able to hunt? I consider myself smart, but would I be cunning or clever enough to stay alive when all I have to rely on are my wits?

In this dystopian society North America is now a place called Panem. There are 12 districts all ruled by the iron fist of The Capital. They allude to some sort of rebellion that happened but was squashed by The Capital, years ago. In fact, there used to be a District 13, but it was obliterated and it's ashes and destruction are left as a reminder to the other districts. Also they have The Hunger Games to remind the people of what little power they have.

Kids ages 12-18 put their names in a raffle and once a year; one boy and one girl from each district get chosen as Tributes. These Tributes go to the Capital and are thrown in an arena where they have to outsmart and eventually kill each other until only one survives. The bloodier and more dramatic, the better. And it's all filmed and broadcast live for the entertainment of the people in the Capital.

The story Follows a 15 yr old girl from one of the poorer families in District 12, Katniss. Since her sister just turned 12, it is the first year her name is in the drawing. Unfortunately, her one ticket comes up and when faced with the only person she loves going to the Hunger Games and surely dying, Kat volunteers and takes her place, along w the bakers son, Peeta, who was chosen as the boy Tribute.

Her ordeal is not only surviving, but outsmarting the other Tributes, the Gamekeepers, and trying to win so she can go back home......lots of goodnstuff. Lots of death, lots of gore, and Kat does what she must to stay alive. Especially LOVE the whole Peeta/Katniss ship (of course I would)

I recommend everybody go buy this book and read it. If u like YA, u will not be dissapointed. They are making a movie that is set to be released early next year. DEFINATELY read the book first.


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Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, Last Man On Earth...

Deliciously angsty!!!!! It literally hurt my chest to read some of the parts. It's a little Wuthering Heights/Pride and Prejudice.

Finished in ONE SITTING. Forgive me if I'm a little incoherent. Ummm....overall, predictable, because of course we know the outcome, but still very enjoyable. It is like a favorite chick flick feel good movie. U know there's gonna b a happy ending, but u still like torturing urself till the last possible moment. Maybe it's my penchant for massochism. Lol!

Anyways, totally recommend. The only big issue I had w it, was the lemons. Other reviews said it alluded to, but was not explicit. I don't know what they are reading, but this was pretty explicit. I normal have no qualms w that, but as I was trying to finish it and move the plot, i actually found my eyes glazing over and wanting to skim. Also, I'm currently president of the celibacy club, so I don't think that helps. Hahaha

Now I need sleep. Work in a few. Crud.


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The sign of the Four...

Love the last line..... Whats in it for u Holmes? "For me," said Sherlock Holmes, "there still remains the cocaine-bottle." And he stretched his long white hand up for it.

Classic. And oh yeah...it's starts off "Morphine or cocaine?"

It was a little long winded for me. I like my Holmes stories like I like my men. Short and sweet. I find it actually takes away from the story and it drags a little bit when there is a lot of detail. I am an impatient sort of gal and need the pace to keep up or I go ADD on the story. (no offense to anyone w ADD)

I DID like the romance between Marry and Watson. I'd never read the beginning of it before. In my sporadic readings he went from bachelor friend and roommate to married man, but seeing the story develop was kind of cute. Also, the story of the treasure and the sign of the four was pretty interesting. Poor Tonga, never had a chance.


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Candles and applause and here's to tooting ur horn

My birthday is coming up. And even tho I say I want to keep it low key cuz I'm getting old, I still need the fanfare. I can't help it. I don't know what it is, but I'm into celebrating me! I know, I sound totally selfish and stuff. Maybe it's a Leo thing? It's not a Folgar thing, my bro and sis...and pretty much everyone else in the fam bam, are cool w their Bday, but don't take it to the extent I do.

I've always known I'm conceited. I know I'm full of myself, and now I know I'm selfish. Drat. No wonder no one will have me. Am I going to change it? Probably not. But I'm going to try to not expect everyone else celebrate the awesomeness that is me, with as much fervor. Let's face it, I have a horn....I'm going to toot it. Rachel Berry said it best "I'm like Tinkerbelle, I die without applause"



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Harry Potter Epicness!!!!!!!!

I just got home from the last Harry Potter movie ever. The epicness is indescribable. We decided to go big or go home, so we did a double feature of Deathly Hallows prt 1 followed by a short intermission (and leg stretch) to do midnight showing of part 2.

I first read these books when I was 16, I think. It was when the third book was just going to get published. Being the total badass that I am....not, I "borrowed" HP and the Sorcerers Stone from my English teacher, since I was allowed to rummage thru the cabinets in the room. There was already some buzz for Harry Potter. Maybe it was just in my nerd circle, but as someone addicted to the written word, I'd heard of it and decided to give it a try.

I remember starting to read it one of my classes (i used to do this thing where I would clear my desk and read a paperback instead of paying attention) and by the time I was home I was almost finished w it. That was it. JK Rowling had me, hook, line, and sinker. Being a teen w no car, I took the bus that same evening to Stonewood Mall, to the Waldens Bookstore they had and bought the Chamber of secrets, right there and then. I vividly remember the clerk who rung me up. She told me that the third one was do to come out in a few weeks and I could reserve a copy. I told her I would read the second one first and politely declined.....little did I know that from then on, I would reserve EVERY SINGLE HARRY POTTER BOOK (midnight release of Deathly Hallows...finished it in 6 hrs and no sleep) and with the exception of the first movie, do midnight showings of every subsequent movie that followed, all culminating in tonight.

Ten years at least. Who woulda thunk it? Certainly not me as I BEGGED my lame friends to read it!!! (btw, they caved and got hooked too). It's something I look forward to sharing with my kid (if I ever have any). I want nothing more than to pass down all my wonderful stories and books so we can share characters who sometimes (a lot of times) i forget aren't real, but grew to love. Be familiar with them like if they were old friends or relatives. I want that really bad :)

I gotta go. I work in a few hrs....tbc


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I hate blurry bell jars...

sometimes do you feel crappy for no reason at all? I feel wonderful. On top of the world and then all of a sudden I feel like.....(sigh).  Sometimes it feels like I can keep walking till my feet just give and just stay wherever it is that i fall.

Lets face it, Im high maintenance, and I need a certain level of people around me, especially around my birthday, but each year I feel more alone. I feel empty. I hate feeling like this, its not even attention grabbing Leo, just the damn blurriness of the same old bell jar.

and Im so tired of it. When Im wonderful, Im wonderful and can't even understand the mentality, but when I'm blurred. Blurry is all I see.

"We Might As Well Be Strangers"

I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for 
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well 

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart 

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know 

A study in scarlet...Sherlock Fever!!!!

I didnt realize Sherlock had a clear beginning. Lol! The beginning narrative is very good. We are introduced to Watson and Holmes. We get to know their habits and characters and a certain personal background. We learn how they meet and end up living together and how they end up solving crimes. All of it is precious background I didn't even know was out there, so it was very much appreciated and enjoyed.

What I DIDN'T like was book II. WTF? Here I am very much into who killed these men and how they did it and hurray, Sherlock tricks and captures a cabbie and just when I am the most invested and at the edge of my seat waiting for the explanation........BAM! We begin Book II and start a whole new narrative somewhere in buttville Utah with characters I don't know or care about! This painful Drabble goes on for 3 whole chapters! I was so confused. I had to google it and make sure I was still reading the right story. Maybe if the point of view would have shifted earlier on, kind of like how some modern authors, switch between the antagonist and protagonist or between the past and present from the beginning it would have made it more palatable and easier to follow.

As it was, for me, it came out of left field, and even though it explained a lot as to WHY these murders were committed, I could have done without it. I'm still mad I had to read it! We get it. Revenge. Move on!!!!!

Grrr! The other major thing I took exception to, was when we FINALLY get back to our story and it's regular narrative, by now I don't really care and I've lost interest for the why (even tho we are STILL tortured with another in-depth narrative) and want to know the how. How did Sherlock solve it? Well, by the time we get to the last 3 pages that has the answer, I read it more just to read it than because I'm actually interested.

I'm pretty critical, but I try not to sugar coat it. I still give it 4 out of 5 and I do take into account that the book was not originally published as a full novel, but as snippets in a magazine, also that it is Doyles first book, so all in all, not bad. I did enjoy the story (most of it anyway) and am looking forward to The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, which thankfully, is back to short stories.


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What's the world going to be like for my child in 10 yrs time....

So I caught up on Steve Jobs Keynote yesterday followed with an E3 re-cap showcasing Wii U and it's new touch controller, and I ended the night with Sony's PS future and more Xbox kinect tweaking.....now I'm not much for gaming (especially RPG) but Forza Motorsport 4 had me salivating. Not only does it look good, but it's splashed full of sexy cars with so much realism AND to top it all off, it includes an episode of Top Gear and the cars are introduced by Jeremy Clarkson...

I wake up to a text message next to my head and opened my iPad lock screen to the latest edition of WIRED Magazine where I read articles about viral videos and Quora (which I just signed onto with my Facebook) and I HAVE to take a minute to step back and just think.

It's been ten years exactly since I graduated high school. I need absolute silence, so I naturally crank up the pandora station and blog. In ten short years life is almost unrecognizable. Not just the look and feel of the youth and the culture (tho I still don't really GET emo kids and hipsters) but I'm talking about this technology revolution that happened while we were all just living. Now these things that are INDISPENSABLE today, were just a gleam in their developer momma and poppa's eyes. They were limited to a scifi channel special and good authors following in Jules Verne's, Jorge Lucas, and of course Duck Dodgers in the 21st and a half Century footsteps.

I would DIE without my cell phone. I probably never use it for actual phone calls, but I text and google, and mapquest. I obsessively Facebook "liking" my friends and families quips, I YouTube Daniel after Dentist or other Tosh.O virals I DVR'd earlier in the week....I listen to tailored radio stations streaming through Pandora, and lord forbid it if I wasn't able to access my ebook downloads (and community) or couldn't watch my favorite movies and tv shows on Netflix.

I remember watching John Travolta in The Bubble Boy ignoring constant buffeting and pixelation on my Windows98 thru Netflix when it was just another webpage. I remember Star Tac phones for Christ's sake!

Kids as young as 3 and 4 KNOW the difference between toy cell phones and real iPhones. I see my friends kids playing on complicated Android and iOs devices that their parents barely know how to use, like little pros. I work in IT and have parents shelling out $200+ to fix computers, they never even touch. Its always the kids. If I'm ever lucky enough to produce progeny, what will their worlds be like?

Hell, what does it mean for me? I am a jack of all trades. I know a little something on everything and excel at nothing. I want to know everything, read everything, see it all, hear it all and then i want to write about it. What a perfect time for me to be alive. Don't know how to do something? Google it. I Facebooked my friends to find out how much water I need to make rice. I bs my way thru my job thanks to certain websites and YouTube instructionals.

Soon, are we going to be obsolete? My kid will be GPS'd to within an inch of his life. He will practically be able to make his own iPod and geo-friendly tablet. He will code and pirate and freaking rule this world. If he doesn't waste all his time reading comic books online, trolling free porn 24/7 and waste away playing WOW, or Xbox live, or angry birds, or PS. And if he doesn't post drunken crazy nights on whatever the coolest social network is at the time, he has a shot of becoming president, or start up CEO.

That is of course if I can squeeze dating into a world where information is changing every day and I feel I'm always playing catch up. I'm no where near my hundred book goal, my instant queue just keeps growing, my dvr says im at 90% capacity, the wiki changed or grew, my CNN app luckily has push notification, as does my TMZ app (gotta keep up w serious news AS WELL as popular culture). I (stupidly) decided to "lose" my phone on my days off and now have 5 missed calls and 3 voicemails, 10 txt messages, some Fb friend requests and messages, not to mention 98 emails to sift through.

I love technology. I do. And I can't wait ton see the coolest devices, but ever since I got my iPad (which I got to read books) I've read less than before I had a library card. What is it making us into? I talk about my hypothetical kid I may never have cuz I'm too busy to slow down and procreate.



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Mini celebration

So I've lost 30lbs in a month. I just put on some jeans I haven't squeezed in, in ages. To celebrate I bough myself 2 fabulous new dresses. They are fitted and although they fit, they would look even better w a little more slack, so they are becoming my motivation for summer. If I keep on 30lbs a month, I would be ecstatic.

Gotta go. Starving. Btw, right now my life revolves around working and not eating. I am taking a week off soon because I'm afraid I'm going to wear myself out. And I need a new multivitamin. those gummies are looking pretty good. We shall see...


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More by Heidi Marshall actually is full of LESS!!!

Ugh! This book is sucking the life from me!!! We are adults. 27 years old, and we can't discuss sex with out dying of embarrassment and swooning at such a sin, but we can all laugh at vaginal cream humor?

Oh emmmm geeeee! Then of course, there are the little foibles that are meant to come across as....cute? Endearing? But fall so short on a naive (stupid) adult woman, they just kinda piss me off.

I'm all for the awkwardness and shyness of dating and meeting people and starting relationships, but this is SO DUMB.

I talk a lot of shit on men. I totally have fun w the male/female dynamic. Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus crap. When guys do stupid things, I totally sigh and say "men!" with the rest of the girls, but this "author" makes men out to be stupid. If I were a man, I would be offended.

Oh, and I hate the random insight to character thoughts when it's in the third person narrative. WTF? Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


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Location:California Ave,Lynwood,United States

So I'm starting More by Heidi Marshall.....so far SUCKS BALLS. The genre is "Christian Romance." And it's not the religious thing I have an aversion to, it's not something I care for, but meh....the characters are bland. It's like they're written from the perspective of a 13 year old girl telling her dream date and life. The protagonist is naive/innocent (way to unrealistic...and if people like this really do exist, I feel SO sorry for them) and the writing is horrible. It's like someone pretending to be an author. It's like a watered down version of what someone thinks an author should be like.

Wanna stab my eyes out. Oh...and I'm only on chap 2.......I can't waste time, so I have to finish it. Need it for my numbers. Gah. We'll see how it goes. Gotta run. I'm supposed to b working.


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Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

This might not make very much sense, but I'm a little sleep deprived. So I purchased this book on a whim, and am I glad it struck my fancy. Don't judge a book by it's cover (this cover made me skim over this book for AGES). I'm glad I finally read the synopsis and bought it. It was just the kick in the butt I needed to pick me out of my book slump.

I purchased the book today and was so into it I considered calling in to work so I could finish it. I know, I have a problem. I'm actively search for a support group. Lol! Seriously, tho....unlike the other book I'm struggling to finish, this one had a very natural flow to it, both in the language and the plot development. It struck such strong invocations of emotions, I swear it felt like I got kicked in the chest sometimes. There was one part that seemed forced, when Grace learns they are shooting in the forest....the whole thing was so panicky and dramatic when the drama hadn't been established yet. If it were a movie scene, it would be a camera dizzyingly cutting in and out and people being sad for someone who just died, only u don't know who died or what's happening, so it's hard to care.

Other than that, I thought it was well written and a good read. I enjoyed the characters and thought the story had a nice blend of adventure, romance, and angst to keep me wanting to skip to end because I was dying with impatience to know what happens. I didn't!

it almost had the feel of fan fiction I've read in the past, in a good way. It's like the author likes her characters enough to consider what they do before she throws in on the page.....or maybe I just have a thing for furry beasts and broody boys. Lol! I loved the female characters. They were strong. Not in the way other characters makes their chicks "strong" (petulant and stubborn) and are really damsel in distress-y **cough cough ...Bella Swanson... cough cough*** I HATE weak female characters like that. Grace is a proper heroine. She keeps her cool, she rescues others as well as herself and even though she is human and we get the emotional aspect of the werewolf situation, it's not all mindless sam-sam-sam-Scarlet O'hara-woe-is-me kind of crap.

If you are into urban fantasy, read it. If you like YA supernatural, read it. Heck if you like the three F's (furr, fanged, and fey), read it.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

It took me almost a month to complete this book, not because I don't like it, but because I DO LIKE IT. AND HATE IT AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm calling it the paradox of Wuthering Heights. To be clear, it is not a difficult read. The language is accessible, and the story easily followed. I found challenges in the characters and their actions. They are too believable, and that is such a sad commentary on my life. Lol!

It's hard to believe people can be SO bitter and hateful towards each other, especially because they loved each other. What I felt for Heathcliff alone is all kinds of complicated. I pitied him as an orphan with no family and unfair treatment from Earnshaw and the others. I was mad with him and was kind of happy when he first started taking revenge (I'm a bitter type of person by nature), but it wouldn't stop! How can YEARS go by and his hatred still burn so strong? And worse yet, he loves Catherine and yet abuses her daughter.

Catherine (mother) is childish and petty. She wants Heathcliff, but she wants more than what he is and I can't begrudge her that, but she makes herself ill and in her own head thinks the world revolves around her and her whims and ends up dead. She never gets over Heathcliff, but she also loves Edward. She wants them to get along for her benefit, but at the same time, causes their hate.

The children unfortunately come into the world bearing the sins of the parents and end up paying for them. Cathy never strays too far from her mothers shadow. She is a spoiled princess to her father and her own free will traps her and results in her own anger at the world and bitterness. Linton is used and abused and just like Heathcliff was twisted towards bitterness and hate is made the same by his own father. And Hareton.....he was my absolute favorite character.....he was born to have so much more, Heathcliff hated everything he stood for and was, yet he adopted him and was as tender as could be towards him raising him better than he did his own son (debatable). But is that better or worse for Hareton? He ends up illiterate and gruff, he is mentioned to smack Cathy in the face when she is being a total b@tch and ridiculing him, yet he is lost in his devotion to her, bearing the brunt of Heathcliffs anger for himself to avoid punishment for her.

As you can see, it's not that I find the story un-entertaining or bad, but it hits so close to home and makes me almost scared to see when Bronte holds this mirror up to my face. I've loved, and the only person I've hated was te person I loved. We would go out of the way to make scars that should last quite a while on either side. And even now, years later, looking back it's a medley of emotions from sad and mad to happy and lonely.

I hate to say it, but I can see a real Wuthering Heights scenarion having happened in my own life. As much as I hate to admit it, there was so much anger, we could have really caused some harm, to others and ourselves. And we kind of did for a while. Luckily something happened that let us let it go. We can even stand to be in the same same room now and look back with both measures of sadness and joy.

This is still too close for my own heart and maybe years from now when I read it again, I will be at a different place and experience a whole new way. For now it feels a little like someone picked at a scab. And that someone might have been me!

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Letter to God -not a highlight in my life

Dear Baby Jesus,

Please let that idiot I like, get a clue, wake up and ask me out. Grab one of ur Heavenly Hammers and beat him over the head w it so I can be sure he gets the point. In your infinite wisdom, I know u created him with the sole purpose of trying my patience, and he lives up to the task w gusto! But I'm getting old and I'm more easily tired out and I'm not up to playing games anymore, even if they are for the idiotic link between man and child. Deep down.....deep deep deep down, I know he is a good man, but u also created me an impatient woman. If u can find it in ur heart to make this man-child evolve and show some affection for me, I will always love u and be grateful forever! If this Herculean task is too much, i understand. I will follow the three second rule and move on to one of the other many morons u see fit to throw my way. Thanks a lot.

XOXOXO
ROSA


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Memories

Isn't it weird sometimes how you and someone used to know each other so well and were so comfortable, u never thought about it?

Like you used to share funny things, or silly things, sad things, embarrassing things and it wasn't a big deal....

And then one day, years down the line, you two are sitting in front of each other and it's awkward. And you have nothing to say to each other and you wonder how that happened because you remember they used to swallow u up. Their joys were ur joys, their mood was ur mood and u were so in tune you wouldn't even trust ur own feelings before consulting them.

And u snap out of it and smile a polite smile. Because u have nothing to say to them. Even bringing up the weather sounds forced.

So u make up an engagement or that ur late for work and say u should catch up or "It was nice seeing u" and just like that they're gone again.

And it's not the fact that their gone that bothers u, but the memories came back and those u can't shake for days.

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I'm just not feeling it...

I don't know why, but even though I know I should be reading like a million books right now to make my goal.....they just can't seem to interest me or catch my imagination. They actually become work. Nutter-butters, I realistically might not make my goal. :(


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Location:Casita

Musings :)

It struck me today on the dance floor of Tigerheat. As I wiped the soggy hair off my sweaty face with the hand not holding my cute but painful high heels. Bodies grunting and grinding to the beat. We are all individual, yet we are all the same. We are the same entity pumping to the beat, all of us looking for a few hours oblivion or distraction to songs we sing into invisible mikes.......and this is happiness.

I'm pulling down my skirt before I flash someone, my feet are killing me, my shoes are poking people in the head, and yet this is the happiest I've been in a long time. Just me and my friends swaying back and forth to songs I don't even know half the time.

I hope to be pretty old. A funny old biddy who says inappropriate things and gets away w it cuz she's old. Lol! But if I don't, I know that these moments of sweat and alcohol are going to be moments that flash before my eyes about happiness.

I love that we are there for each other. The guys hating on the goober, feeling my shame and embarrassment. Us feeling for my baby daddy and trying to mitigate the pain of losing someone he loved so much, and us sharing in Milti's foibles and adventures because even after all the shit we talk, we only wish we were half as brave as him, putting ourselves out there so freely and with such abandonment.

Then there is SL, my boo. Who FINALLY got his man. And SC who is the cutest little butchy lesbian you'll ever meet, and of course, APT, who is as gay as x-mas but will come out when he is good and ready.

Whatever our problems, however different they are, for at least a few hours of groping and sweating, we are everything and nothing to each other before heading back into the real world that's full of expectations and disappointments. For a few hours, at least we really are super stars and sexy models sashaying our hips and breathing on each other smelling of booze and cigarettes. And I repeat, happiest nights ever :)


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FML again!!! I'm at avalon dancing in my cute Baker shoes that FUKKIN HURT!!! But I refuse to take them off!!! I look good


- (=^_^=) meow

Am I overthinking things? They say to just need to be myself. Be myself? How can I do that when I don't know who I am.

Douche bag MR G!!!


- (=^_^=) meow

So here is the dealio. I toed the line and put myself out there AGAIN and got slapped in the face. Apparently the girl I thought was the cool friendly one, was a FREINDEMY. wtf? I've never had one of those.

IDK how I feel. I think I need to process. I need my baby daddy or my girls to help me sort out what I feel. I'm not crushed like I was w the H. I'm not sad like I was w J...I'm kinda relieved, but my ego also feels kinda insulted. I can't wait to pour this night over w my Baby Daddy and see what he makes of it cuz right now I'm too buzzed to make heads or tails of it.

The FREINDEMY thing ticks me off the most. Y she acting like my bestie and then text him to come over soon as my back is turned? Dude! Not cool. Boys are like buses...new one here in 15 min, but girls are supposed to signify solidarity. I think that ticks me off more than anything.. Well, Mr G, I can honestly say, hand on my heart, that I ave it a try. Shit didn't work out. Time to move on too the next one.

I miss J.

I gotta talk to the boss man KJ and tell him wha ha happened. Last post of the night. I swear it. Goodnight!

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Location:Bed

Definitely an FML situation. I'm really drunk and it's unfair, but I need him to decide even though I won't. I'm such a mess. Idk what I want.

He makes makes kinda happy. I like being w him and the physical proximity was great, but if neither of us knows what we want, what the HELl are we doing? FML. fML. FML. fML.

When did my llufe get so complicated? I need my girls.. Or my baby daddy to help sort it out. FML.
- (=^_^=) meow

Fml. I's drunk. Idk what that means in terms of me and mr. G. I'm drunk enough to not care.....but I can't turn off my brain. Shit!!!!!!!! Has anyone ever been in my shoes? I feel every girl everywhere has been where I'm at. U don't know where u stand, but ur drunk enough u don't care. I guess tomorrow's update might be better. More informative at least.


- (=^_^=) meow

Location:S Grand Ave,Los Angeles,United States

Words of advice...

The words of advice as given by a Lovely Complex....

"if u meet someone and fall in love, and if loving that person makes you hate yourself, they are not ur destiny"

Hahaha. Too true


- (=^_^=) meow

Needing proof...

If u love me. If u really love me, you will find a way to prove it to me. I won't tell u how, I won't even guess at it. I don't want things and I don't want u doing what u don't want, but I want u to prove it to me. Prove me wrong.

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Arranged, Wow what a friend...

So she goes out of the way to take a picture of this guy I like.

This is a guy I don't know, but we looked into each others eyes and something sparked.

We kept stealing glances at each other, but we were both too shy to even talk about each other, much less TO each other.

Then my friend, my darling friend, seeing our predicament, grabs a pen and paper and pretends to be a JOURNALIST and find out everything about him possible.

Mr Horowitz is finishing up a computer engineering degree, single and an orthodox Jew. He is 6'2" with blue eyes and a shy smile.

I love friends =o)

=) I don't even know what to say right now


- (=^_^=) meow

I don't want Poison Apples....

I should like very much to be spared the poison apple that is Love. What small taste I've had of it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

After several attempts throughout the years to read Wuthering Heights, I am finally making myself finish it. And I both love it and hate it at the same time. I cannot get through the pages without drawing parallels to my own life. I am passionate enough that I would do exactly the same things. I am selfish enough that I would make the same mistakes. And I am coward enough that I would likewise seal my own fate in death. How miserable am I? miserable enough for having had my own Heathcliff.

And we loved passionately. And we tore each other apart. And we exacted revenge and inflicted even worse damage on ourselves. And yet I'm still standing. Sad, bitter, and scared of ever putting myself in that position again, but I'm still standing, and that in itself is a big accomplishment. I suppose...


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The hardest thing I've ever done...

I get home from work and turn on the tube. They are running a Deadliest Catch marathon. And it happens to be EXACTLY on the episode when Phil Harris dies and they bury him.

That in itself is sad, but last time I saw this episode, when they ran in on it's original air date I was upset. The person who comforted me was Herb. And in early Feb Herb died.

I'm trying not to break down and cry, but it's so dang hard. Who is going to comfort me now when I am sad and upset about Herb's death? Life is the hardest thing I've ever done.


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Laughing moons and getting old

So I got out pretty late and one of my co-workers was supposed to get picked up by her irresponsible sister. As expected, being an irresponsible sister, she didn't show and turns out was on her way to Anaheim instead of Compton and couldn't find her way back. Being the kick ass kind of person I am, I told my co-worker to send said sister back home and I would drop her off. The ride was pleasant and we shared our frustrations and I dropped her off safe and sound in maybe 20 mins, easy peasy.

Then I had to make my way home. Luckily, my coworker lives only 15 mins or so from my house, pretty close to major cross streets (Atlantic/Rosecrans.) Normally, this wouldn't b a problem, but it's 11pm and I forgot that I couldn't find my glasses before work. So the I was. Alone. Late. And I couldn't for the life of me make out any stupid roadsigns.

Now before you go all 911 on me, I have to point out that I'm not THAT blind. I wasn't going to accidentally go off-roading or hitting cars, but lights all look fuzzy and I can't read street names until I am close enough to pass them.

The only think my unfortunate eyes could make out was the sliver of moon, the small crescent that looks like the lopsided Cheshire Cat grin.

So there I was. Cold, lost, alone...and being mocked by the moon. Stupid moon. What do u know?

Enough to laugh at me for being a dork for forgetting my glasses is my guess. First thing imma do when i get into my room is look for those stupid specs. I hadn't realized how dependent I was on them. I hate getting old.

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Happiness (after North&South)

You know that feel good feeling? When you ur head is all full and you feel like you are brimming on the inside that you might slosh over with happiness, like some sort of liquid that might start to leak at any moment?

That's how I feel right now. No, nothing amazing has happened in my life, in fact, quite the opposite. Whole lotta same ol same ol. But when I read a good book that really gets me emotionally invested, where I'm biting my nails, sighing and clenching my teeth to find out what happens, and then it has a happy ending...that's when I get this feeling.

I like to think that I'm not cynical, but realistically, I am. I'm pretty jaded sometimes and disappointed, but knowing that good stuff can happen and people can get happy. That they can get everything they want, even if it is in fiction, makes my heart a little lighter.

It won't last, I can already feel the cloud lifting and the seratonin clearing. Like any other drug, happiness is a much craved high that last a very short time and I'm like a fiend looking for another hit, just one more time of escape and contentment.

It's a good thing I don't do drugs, I'm just saying.

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Food...yum

In was just thinking how the other day I had the strongest taste of garlic bread in my mouth. I was at work being a crazy busy bee, and out of nowhere...BAM! Taste explosion!

I could feel the heat and bursts of garlic salt and butter along my tongue. It was so real and tangible. I smelled it when I shut my mouth and inhaled.

Left me craving Garlic Bread for DAYS.


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Location:California Ave,Lynwood,United States

Little pond, big fish...

I have two things on which I wish to unburden myself just now. The foremost being that I am regretting somewhat the impulsiveness of youth in my substantial purchase of this iPad. No, it is not that I do not find it useful or entertaining, rather the opposite. I am finding it too entertaining. There is always some video to watch or something to play or hear, but I have not finished a single book since it's arrival. It's as if now I find too much to do and none of which go along with the intended purpose of reading. Poor Literati and Sony Ps 300, to be so sadly discarded to one so unfaithful to the written word as this. My lacking in funds also does not help turn tide of my opinion.

The latter of my complaints, lies in the chewing of thought over a particular man. The more I read Glaskell's Thornton, the more I find parallels w Mr G, in my life.

I find myself allowing him simple comforts and acts of intimacy that I scantly award anyone but my close relations. The way, for example, that I let him hug me with a lingering hand at my waist and inhale his scent. There is too, most worryingly and at the same time comforting, the way he takes such liberties with my hair as to twine it round a finger or slip it behind an ear, the same ear, the lobe of which, he then caresses and tugs affectionately. I have seen something in his eyes and I can recognize it only because I can share in it, but we have tried going down this road and failed. My bruised and battered little heart is still not up to snuff. In him I do not see good times and nice dates the way I do with the other men who's offers and attentions I take. In him I see permanence. I am not sure I want that. And im not sure i want that with him. No, that's not true, I doI want that, I'm just not sure I'm ready for it. I don't think I could bear it if everything goes to pot, either.

I take a step back and wonder how would i advise myself? If it was another's life and they sought my counsel, I would say that to wager nothing when the stakes are high, is also to keep what is in your your pocket...and nothing more. I would probably tell myself to venture and gamble on happiness, or to risk a stagnancy in life, in love, in everything. How hypocritical of me. Because in my heart of hearts I am a coward and comfortable in the status quo, no matter how miserable I am. I will turn it over in my head some more but doubt I will give Mr G a chance. And if that is the case, then I don't deserve him and I am doing us both a favor.


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So impatient....

So it's going to be another Ramen month. In fact I'm already running different scenarios in my head as to where I can get some quick cash. Why? Because I could not wait one second more and last night ended up buying myself the iPad!!!!!

Lo, I sit here typing away on my beautiful new toy <3

Do I need it? No. But I wanted it SO bad!!!!!!!!!!

I was going to use my tax money to buy one, but that all went to paying ba k some home monies from last year and I've been working so dang hard and saving so much money. I think I deserved it.

As an e-book reader, it is the hottest thing since fire and the coolest thing since sliced bread. As an added bonus, I can get ALL KINDS of apps to pretty much rule the world.

Yes, I'm impulsive. Yes, I could prob have used the money for something else much more a necessity and productive, but I thought we established early on that I am hella selfish. As a selfish human being, as much as it pained me to give apple any money......TOMA!!

I didn't get to do much but set up the basics last night, and I had a hella long shift today, but since I came home and everyone, but my lame ass went out as a family, i am going to sit and play till 2 or 3 am. Busting out the Red Bull!!!



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Location:California Ave,Compton,United States

Book Challenge Update

As I post book number 13 on Good Read (Iron Kissed by Patricia Briggs) I stop myself to do the math...I started on January 24th.... today makes exactly 7 weeks, with a total of 13 books done. Broken down, that is 49 days of reading challenge.

that amounts to about      4,417 pages read total
                                              3.7 books a week
                                              0.53 of a book a day
                                              631 pages a week
                                               90.1 pages a day
                                             3.8 pages an hour.....for 24 hours in the day

thats kind of cool. I've never broken down my statistics like that. I should go buy myself those book timers that counts how many hours I read so I can have an accurate count of exactly how fast I read :)

Tsunami warnings in Japan? I never thought I'd see the day...

So there's been a Tsunami warning in LA? Yesterday, there was an 8.9 earthquake in Japan that caused a lot of damages. I saw on the news this morn that its the 5th strongest earthquake in recorded history. Most people are praying for the people affected and my heart goes out to them and their loved ones. I know a few people in Korea and just found out that they are okay, thank God. But some have 2012 predictions and the beggining of the end in mind.

Is the world going to end next year? some people I know (mostly paranoid conspirasist) are convinced it is. I frankly, have no clue and decided not to watch the movie or even look into it. Who knows. The Mayan calendar ends next year and so far we've had the Haiti earthquake, the floods in Australia, etc and this has all been in the last two years, but I don't buy the hype. I think its more just the way the world works. Entropy. Can't stop it, its going to happen, and its the way of the universe. Just like the dinosaur time came to an end with the ice age and the ice age eventually ended so we can take control, eventually, our time will be over and some other animal or creature will call the earth its home. Thats the way evolution works. Especially because as a destructive race, we've sped tings up with industrial and nuclear revolutions.

No, I'm not some crazy green head ego-mentalist, but I figure, meh, All I can do is live my life and see what happens. no Y2K craziness for me.

Just heard that the earthquake moved the eastern coast of Japan about 8 feet. There are hundreds dead and the earthquake lasted a full 5 minutes. I've only ever felt 30 seconds worth of earthquakes (thank you San Andreas). In the states, Hawaii was hit pretty bad and Santa Cruz is really the only port with damages.

I will pray extra hard for the people of Japan and their loved ones. Its all I can do from here and hope it helps.

 

Religion and Underwear...

not to be blasphemist, but I feel like the search for God is like finding the right bra.

 Some people can wear their religion with so much comfort. They are like exhibitionist. People who look good and know it so they don't care what they wear or don't wear and who sees? You know, annoying people. I wish I was like that, but I'm lazy and confused. I chose to keep my faith and religion close to my heart and much like my underclothes, is for me alone and possibly only shared with people I love very much and are completely comfortable with.

Lets see...i was raised Roman Catholic, with a smattering of Santeria introduced by my parents when I was a young and impressionable youth (something they still practice to this day) and chose to be Episcopalian after taking a scholarly approach in College, One of my best friends was a staunch Jehovah's Witness, and I dated a Christian for a while..  I've been to Baptist service, Jehovah Witness service, Christian meetings, and although find Buddhism, Hinduism, and Judaism interesting, I find that the Lamb of God, the baby Jesus is much too ingrained in any of my disorganized doctrines for me to ignore.

Now what is a mutt like me supposed to do? I can go to any of the services I've attended so far, but it doesn't feel right. It's like I've bought a bra that is too small and pinching my sides. Yeah, it does the job, but sooner or later, it feels like I'm going to be embarrassed and exposed.

I've done a lot of tossing and turning on it, and choose Episcopalian. I love the doctrine. It's based on Roman Catholicism, which means close to comfort for me and no new radical beliefs, but at the same time, is one of the most all-encompassing and welcoming faiths I've ever encountered.  They accept and better yet, support, women in the clergy and homosexuals. Depending on the church you attend. therein lies the rub.

Now that I've defined my faith to myself, I have to find the right church. Some are still too conservative and don't allow women pastors....also more "tolerate" homosexuals and the like. Grrrr!!!!!!

It's like I've gone from a small uncomfortable bra to a confining one! the straps fit, but the cups are flattening me out to the point where i can't breath. So frustrating.

I found one church i like. Its in Downey. Josh and I used to go to it. I miss Pastor Liz, but I don't think I can go now and I'm hoping to find something closer to home.

I just want something that makes me feel comfortable. something that has a Pastor/Preacher who actually talks to us and doesn't just read scripture or have a mentality stuck in WW2.  I'm just saying.

Bra shopping sucks too. Gah!!!!!

Guess Im stuck sifting through bras that are either too rich for my blood, or not well made, small, large, confining, too loose, or funky ass leopard prints.

But the quest continues, and much like the perfect bra with just enough lift, support, and comfort, I will find the right church with the perfect amount of lift, support, and comfort.

twelve out of a hundred...

With Blood Born by Patricia Briggs, i am up to 12/100. It feels like such an accomplishment, but at the same time, Im already almost half way though March and should be closer to 30 books read. Crap and a half!!!!

Working my way to the new Briggs book, River Marked. I'd been waiting with baited breath for March 1st when it was released as the 6th or 7th Mercy Thompson book, but in the year it took to come out, I kinda completely forgot what happens in the fist books. Lame.

I was so excited, I bought the ebook and started reading, when it starts off with Adam and Mercy getting married?? WTF!!! I know I remember Mercy finally accepting Adam and their mate bond.....something about the Fae Queen and Mercy being gone for a couple of months and the sheep staff, but after 30 pages of utter confusion, I had to admit defeat and start reading book 1.  Not as bad as it sounds, especially cuz I really enjoy this series and it definably gives girth to my book challenge, but I am dying from impatience, knowing I have that last book and cant' read it, yet. Just started Book 3!!!

ultimate lameness. I have to run though. Today is Ash Weds and if I hope to make it to church before i start work, I should be getting ready now. The church might still be open after 9pm, but I'd rather not take the chance. gotta run!!

Polite Men....defective women?

It's not that I don't like polite men. Puh-lease! A gentleman is still a hot commodity. What I find I have issues with is polite men being polite to me in a sexual kind of way. What does that even mean, right?

Well, take for example, opening a door. That's nice of them to open a door to a restaurant or something, in fact it reflects a lot on his upbringing and is just plain nice.

 But I think I can get my own door to a vehicle. I'm just saying. It gets into a weird kind of jibe when a man comes around to unlock and open my door for me. What am I supposed to do with my arms? Hang them limply to the side like the twit I am? So I shuffle in, already kind of nervous and awkward and he waits patiently before he shuts the door for me, then goes around the car so he can get in. Now, this whole time (and I know its only a matter of seconds, but when ur uncomfortable it seems like decades) The only thing  running through my head is "What am i suppose to say now?"

Assuming we had a good time wherever it is we were, one little move and suddenly its awkward city. I wonder whats running through his mind and what his expectations will be or how they change in my mind. How I view him changes in my mind, as well. Grr!!!

Another one is at a restaurant when a guy hold out a chair for you and waits for you to be seated.....to push you in? What am i? 5yrs old? Besides the fact that this is awkward because he doesn't know how close or far i want to sit from the table and I'm embarrassed that he has to push my weight along with the chairs. Now, I am all kinds of self-conscious. Not a good way to start the evening. Especially when Im about to start eating.

When I think of polite guys, I have a really nice romantic notion taken form movies like Gone With The Wind, my perception of English men, my perception of Southern men, and countless hours of regency romance novels. Sound wonderful.....until its 2011, and instead of being shuffled off to a dance like a nice little filly, you're chilling at a bowling alley or went to watch Tron 3D. In this modern context, it just seems weird and makes me AWKWARD.

Or maybe Im just weird like that? I do have a pretty dominant personality. I know this. I naturally assume the bossiest position and my friends are either used to it, or let me and ignore me anyway. lol! Either way, when its with someone I know and am comfortable, its not a big deal.

I fear all these books I read are getting to me. Its all about hierarchy and dominance games. Naturally, I don't want to come across as a submissive. Letting someone know you are a submissive opens all cans of worms through inference. Some good, some not so much. And so much is primal human nature. Some people are loathe to admit it, but I think everyone does it. Think about when you first meet someone. You're very careful about what your body language and what you say...they are all social cues to what you want to be perceived at and results in your pecking order status.

If someone meets a celebrity or whatever and fawns and gushes and makes a big deal, naturally, you think that they are giving him social cues that the celebrity  is dominant. He is better, richer, happier, more than. This might not give him anything, but it might also give him a sense of superiority or, happiness or whatever. Either way, they are sub-conscious things you don't think about and don't say out loud, but when you stop to think on them, make an uncomfortable kind of sense.

And I am not some Damsel in Distress. As fun and romantic as that might seem to be, the reality is that's just not me. Sure, I bat my lashes and pout my lips to get my way, but I know what Im doing when I do it.  This is the flip side of that, I guess. It's like they are taking the leverage from me. I want then to perceive me as collected and COMPETENT. I'm a self rescuing princess. Doing little "polite" things like that means they've inferred me as incompetent and a ninny.

Definitely don't want to be that. I want to be the kick ass girl, not the damsel.

Well, my rant is spent.......and I still like a jacket offered when I'm cold. And its nice offering to pay sometimes, but let me pull my own weight too. And for God Sakes, let me open my own door and pull in my own chair. Im just saying.

Spring Awakening...8 Tony's well earned

I am incandescently happy right now.

Wore my new black pearl necklace (that I got for a steal in Chinatown for the New Year...rabbit) to the best musical EVA.

Yup. Spring Awakening. Teen emo-ness at it's best. Rape, child abuse, suicide, pregnancy, abortion, homosexuality...in other words teen angst, and I loved it.

Had to remind myself no one paid to hear my dulcet tones and shut myself up cuz I kept wanting to sing along to the upbeat rock songs with titles like "it's the Bitch of Living" and "Totally Fucked" which despite their crude language (or maybe because of it) perfectly captured the melodrama of growing up.

Mando seemed to like it. Lol. I think the partial nudity made him go bug-eyed a little bit, but it was good fun to see him go bug-eyed A LOT. Since it was opening night, they had a red carpet event and raffles to sit on stage, but Mandito kept getting star-stuck. What a spaz.

It was good fun and sparked good conversation about parents and teenagers and all the issues, on the way back that made the trip go by fast. In fact, the whole play seemed to be over much too soon for my liking, but there u go.



Who knew these would be the makings of my a good date? Lmao. All I'm missing is the actual date. Last time I went was with Josh. Nuff said. Lol

I better go to bed. Long day tomorrow and I'm nursing a killer headache from not sleeping last night...(thank u iPhone 4), but I'm not complaining.

Btw, finally ate at the pub next to the pantages. Last time we did sushi and the time b4 that, mesican. Was torn Btwn the shepards pie and fish&chips. Went w the tried and true Guinness battered Cod and chips. Ate every last mouth-watering morsel. Oh, and I brought back another Pantages coffee cup. Lame. I miss the good ol' days when the cups had the name of the play... A la Wicked? Mamma Mia? Dirty Dancing?

No such luck. West Side Story? Phantom of the Opera? And the stoopid mug is an ugly maroon that just reads "Pantages!"

Double lame. Here's hoping Beauty & the Beast will be better.























Isn't the architecture pretty? The pics are kinda blurry, but I had to sneak take them when the attendant wasn't looking. Wish I'd been faster and gotten a picture of the cast.


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- (=^_^=) meow