Musings :)

It struck me today on the dance floor of Tigerheat. As I wiped the soggy hair off my sweaty face with the hand not holding my cute but painful high heels. Bodies grunting and grinding to the beat. We are all individual, yet we are all the same. We are the same entity pumping to the beat, all of us looking for a few hours oblivion or distraction to songs we sing into invisible mikes.......and this is happiness.

I'm pulling down my skirt before I flash someone, my feet are killing me, my shoes are poking people in the head, and yet this is the happiest I've been in a long time. Just me and my friends swaying back and forth to songs I don't even know half the time.

I hope to be pretty old. A funny old biddy who says inappropriate things and gets away w it cuz she's old. Lol! But if I don't, I know that these moments of sweat and alcohol are going to be moments that flash before my eyes about happiness.

I love that we are there for each other. The guys hating on the goober, feeling my shame and embarrassment. Us feeling for my baby daddy and trying to mitigate the pain of losing someone he loved so much, and us sharing in Milti's foibles and adventures because even after all the shit we talk, we only wish we were half as brave as him, putting ourselves out there so freely and with such abandonment.

Then there is SL, my boo. Who FINALLY got his man. And SC who is the cutest little butchy lesbian you'll ever meet, and of course, APT, who is as gay as x-mas but will come out when he is good and ready.

Whatever our problems, however different they are, for at least a few hours of groping and sweating, we are everything and nothing to each other before heading back into the real world that's full of expectations and disappointments. For a few hours, at least we really are super stars and sexy models sashaying our hips and breathing on each other smelling of booze and cigarettes. And I repeat, happiest nights ever :)


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