not to be blasphemist, but I feel like the search for God is like finding the right bra.
Some people can wear their religion with so much comfort. They are like exhibitionist. People who look good and know it so they don't care what they wear or don't wear and who sees? You know, annoying people. I wish I was like that, but I'm lazy and confused. I chose to keep my faith and religion close to my heart and much like my underclothes, is for me alone and possibly only shared with people I love very much and are completely comfortable with.
Lets see...i was raised Roman Catholic, with a smattering of Santeria introduced by my parents when I was a young and impressionable youth (something they still practice to this day) and chose to be Episcopalian after taking a scholarly approach in College, One of my best friends was a staunch Jehovah's Witness, and I dated a Christian for a while.. I've been to Baptist service, Jehovah Witness service, Christian meetings, and although find Buddhism, Hinduism, and Judaism interesting, I find that the Lamb of God, the baby Jesus is much too ingrained in any of my disorganized doctrines for me to ignore.
Now what is a mutt like me supposed to do? I can go to any of the services I've attended so far, but it doesn't feel right. It's like I've bought a bra that is too small and pinching my sides. Yeah, it does the job, but sooner or later, it feels like I'm going to be embarrassed and exposed.
I've done a lot of tossing and turning on it, and choose Episcopalian. I love the doctrine. It's based on Roman Catholicism, which means close to comfort for me and no new radical beliefs, but at the same time, is one of the most all-encompassing and welcoming faiths I've ever encountered. They accept and better yet, support, women in the clergy and homosexuals. Depending on the church you attend. therein lies the rub.
Now that I've defined my faith to myself, I have to find the right church. Some are still too conservative and don't allow women pastors....also more "tolerate" homosexuals and the like. Grrrr!!!!!!
It's like I've gone from a small uncomfortable bra to a confining one! the straps fit, but the cups are flattening me out to the point where i can't breath. So frustrating.
I found one church i like. Its in Downey. Josh and I used to go to it. I miss Pastor Liz, but I don't think I can go now and I'm hoping to find something closer to home.
I just want something that makes me feel comfortable. something that has a Pastor/Preacher who actually talks to us and doesn't just read scripture or have a mentality stuck in WW2. I'm just saying.
Bra shopping sucks too. Gah!!!!!
Guess Im stuck sifting through bras that are either too rich for my blood, or not well made, small, large, confining, too loose, or funky ass leopard prints.
But the quest continues, and much like the perfect bra with just enough lift, support, and comfort, I will find the right church with the perfect amount of lift, support, and comfort.
