So impatient....

So it's going to be another Ramen month. In fact I'm already running different scenarios in my head as to where I can get some quick cash. Why? Because I could not wait one second more and last night ended up buying myself the iPad!!!!!

Lo, I sit here typing away on my beautiful new toy <3

Do I need it? No. But I wanted it SO bad!!!!!!!!!!

I was going to use my tax money to buy one, but that all went to paying ba k some home monies from last year and I've been working so dang hard and saving so much money. I think I deserved it.

As an e-book reader, it is the hottest thing since fire and the coolest thing since sliced bread. As an added bonus, I can get ALL KINDS of apps to pretty much rule the world.

Yes, I'm impulsive. Yes, I could prob have used the money for something else much more a necessity and productive, but I thought we established early on that I am hella selfish. As a selfish human being, as much as it pained me to give apple any money......TOMA!!

I didn't get to do much but set up the basics last night, and I had a hella long shift today, but since I came home and everyone, but my lame ass went out as a family, i am going to sit and play till 2 or 3 am. Busting out the Red Bull!!!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:California Ave,Compton,United States

Book Challenge Update

As I post book number 13 on Good Read (Iron Kissed by Patricia Briggs) I stop myself to do the math...I started on January 24th.... today makes exactly 7 weeks, with a total of 13 books done. Broken down, that is 49 days of reading challenge.

that amounts to about      4,417 pages read total
                                              3.7 books a week
                                              0.53 of a book a day
                                              631 pages a week
                                               90.1 pages a day
                                             3.8 pages an hour.....for 24 hours in the day

thats kind of cool. I've never broken down my statistics like that. I should go buy myself those book timers that counts how many hours I read so I can have an accurate count of exactly how fast I read :)

Tsunami warnings in Japan? I never thought I'd see the day...

So there's been a Tsunami warning in LA? Yesterday, there was an 8.9 earthquake in Japan that caused a lot of damages. I saw on the news this morn that its the 5th strongest earthquake in recorded history. Most people are praying for the people affected and my heart goes out to them and their loved ones. I know a few people in Korea and just found out that they are okay, thank God. But some have 2012 predictions and the beggining of the end in mind.

Is the world going to end next year? some people I know (mostly paranoid conspirasist) are convinced it is. I frankly, have no clue and decided not to watch the movie or even look into it. Who knows. The Mayan calendar ends next year and so far we've had the Haiti earthquake, the floods in Australia, etc and this has all been in the last two years, but I don't buy the hype. I think its more just the way the world works. Entropy. Can't stop it, its going to happen, and its the way of the universe. Just like the dinosaur time came to an end with the ice age and the ice age eventually ended so we can take control, eventually, our time will be over and some other animal or creature will call the earth its home. Thats the way evolution works. Especially because as a destructive race, we've sped tings up with industrial and nuclear revolutions.

No, I'm not some crazy green head ego-mentalist, but I figure, meh, All I can do is live my life and see what happens. no Y2K craziness for me.

Just heard that the earthquake moved the eastern coast of Japan about 8 feet. There are hundreds dead and the earthquake lasted a full 5 minutes. I've only ever felt 30 seconds worth of earthquakes (thank you San Andreas). In the states, Hawaii was hit pretty bad and Santa Cruz is really the only port with damages.

I will pray extra hard for the people of Japan and their loved ones. Its all I can do from here and hope it helps.

 

Religion and Underwear...

not to be blasphemist, but I feel like the search for God is like finding the right bra.

 Some people can wear their religion with so much comfort. They are like exhibitionist. People who look good and know it so they don't care what they wear or don't wear and who sees? You know, annoying people. I wish I was like that, but I'm lazy and confused. I chose to keep my faith and religion close to my heart and much like my underclothes, is for me alone and possibly only shared with people I love very much and are completely comfortable with.

Lets see...i was raised Roman Catholic, with a smattering of Santeria introduced by my parents when I was a young and impressionable youth (something they still practice to this day) and chose to be Episcopalian after taking a scholarly approach in College, One of my best friends was a staunch Jehovah's Witness, and I dated a Christian for a while..  I've been to Baptist service, Jehovah Witness service, Christian meetings, and although find Buddhism, Hinduism, and Judaism interesting, I find that the Lamb of God, the baby Jesus is much too ingrained in any of my disorganized doctrines for me to ignore.

Now what is a mutt like me supposed to do? I can go to any of the services I've attended so far, but it doesn't feel right. It's like I've bought a bra that is too small and pinching my sides. Yeah, it does the job, but sooner or later, it feels like I'm going to be embarrassed and exposed.

I've done a lot of tossing and turning on it, and choose Episcopalian. I love the doctrine. It's based on Roman Catholicism, which means close to comfort for me and no new radical beliefs, but at the same time, is one of the most all-encompassing and welcoming faiths I've ever encountered.  They accept and better yet, support, women in the clergy and homosexuals. Depending on the church you attend. therein lies the rub.

Now that I've defined my faith to myself, I have to find the right church. Some are still too conservative and don't allow women pastors....also more "tolerate" homosexuals and the like. Grrrr!!!!!!

It's like I've gone from a small uncomfortable bra to a confining one! the straps fit, but the cups are flattening me out to the point where i can't breath. So frustrating.

I found one church i like. Its in Downey. Josh and I used to go to it. I miss Pastor Liz, but I don't think I can go now and I'm hoping to find something closer to home.

I just want something that makes me feel comfortable. something that has a Pastor/Preacher who actually talks to us and doesn't just read scripture or have a mentality stuck in WW2.  I'm just saying.

Bra shopping sucks too. Gah!!!!!

Guess Im stuck sifting through bras that are either too rich for my blood, or not well made, small, large, confining, too loose, or funky ass leopard prints.

But the quest continues, and much like the perfect bra with just enough lift, support, and comfort, I will find the right church with the perfect amount of lift, support, and comfort.

twelve out of a hundred...

With Blood Born by Patricia Briggs, i am up to 12/100. It feels like such an accomplishment, but at the same time, Im already almost half way though March and should be closer to 30 books read. Crap and a half!!!!

Working my way to the new Briggs book, River Marked. I'd been waiting with baited breath for March 1st when it was released as the 6th or 7th Mercy Thompson book, but in the year it took to come out, I kinda completely forgot what happens in the fist books. Lame.

I was so excited, I bought the ebook and started reading, when it starts off with Adam and Mercy getting married?? WTF!!! I know I remember Mercy finally accepting Adam and their mate bond.....something about the Fae Queen and Mercy being gone for a couple of months and the sheep staff, but after 30 pages of utter confusion, I had to admit defeat and start reading book 1.  Not as bad as it sounds, especially cuz I really enjoy this series and it definably gives girth to my book challenge, but I am dying from impatience, knowing I have that last book and cant' read it, yet. Just started Book 3!!!

ultimate lameness. I have to run though. Today is Ash Weds and if I hope to make it to church before i start work, I should be getting ready now. The church might still be open after 9pm, but I'd rather not take the chance. gotta run!!

Polite Men....defective women?

It's not that I don't like polite men. Puh-lease! A gentleman is still a hot commodity. What I find I have issues with is polite men being polite to me in a sexual kind of way. What does that even mean, right?

Well, take for example, opening a door. That's nice of them to open a door to a restaurant or something, in fact it reflects a lot on his upbringing and is just plain nice.

 But I think I can get my own door to a vehicle. I'm just saying. It gets into a weird kind of jibe when a man comes around to unlock and open my door for me. What am I supposed to do with my arms? Hang them limply to the side like the twit I am? So I shuffle in, already kind of nervous and awkward and he waits patiently before he shuts the door for me, then goes around the car so he can get in. Now, this whole time (and I know its only a matter of seconds, but when ur uncomfortable it seems like decades) The only thing  running through my head is "What am i suppose to say now?"

Assuming we had a good time wherever it is we were, one little move and suddenly its awkward city. I wonder whats running through his mind and what his expectations will be or how they change in my mind. How I view him changes in my mind, as well. Grr!!!

Another one is at a restaurant when a guy hold out a chair for you and waits for you to be seated.....to push you in? What am i? 5yrs old? Besides the fact that this is awkward because he doesn't know how close or far i want to sit from the table and I'm embarrassed that he has to push my weight along with the chairs. Now, I am all kinds of self-conscious. Not a good way to start the evening. Especially when Im about to start eating.

When I think of polite guys, I have a really nice romantic notion taken form movies like Gone With The Wind, my perception of English men, my perception of Southern men, and countless hours of regency romance novels. Sound wonderful.....until its 2011, and instead of being shuffled off to a dance like a nice little filly, you're chilling at a bowling alley or went to watch Tron 3D. In this modern context, it just seems weird and makes me AWKWARD.

Or maybe Im just weird like that? I do have a pretty dominant personality. I know this. I naturally assume the bossiest position and my friends are either used to it, or let me and ignore me anyway. lol! Either way, when its with someone I know and am comfortable, its not a big deal.

I fear all these books I read are getting to me. Its all about hierarchy and dominance games. Naturally, I don't want to come across as a submissive. Letting someone know you are a submissive opens all cans of worms through inference. Some good, some not so much. And so much is primal human nature. Some people are loathe to admit it, but I think everyone does it. Think about when you first meet someone. You're very careful about what your body language and what you say...they are all social cues to what you want to be perceived at and results in your pecking order status.

If someone meets a celebrity or whatever and fawns and gushes and makes a big deal, naturally, you think that they are giving him social cues that the celebrity  is dominant. He is better, richer, happier, more than. This might not give him anything, but it might also give him a sense of superiority or, happiness or whatever. Either way, they are sub-conscious things you don't think about and don't say out loud, but when you stop to think on them, make an uncomfortable kind of sense.

And I am not some Damsel in Distress. As fun and romantic as that might seem to be, the reality is that's just not me. Sure, I bat my lashes and pout my lips to get my way, but I know what Im doing when I do it.  This is the flip side of that, I guess. It's like they are taking the leverage from me. I want then to perceive me as collected and COMPETENT. I'm a self rescuing princess. Doing little "polite" things like that means they've inferred me as incompetent and a ninny.

Definitely don't want to be that. I want to be the kick ass girl, not the damsel.

Well, my rant is spent.......and I still like a jacket offered when I'm cold. And its nice offering to pay sometimes, but let me pull my own weight too. And for God Sakes, let me open my own door and pull in my own chair. Im just saying.