Broken heart for my baby

Yesterday I felt the worst pain I've ever felt in my whole life.

Someone came to my home and stole my Diablito, my baby. He was four years old and always had that stupid vacant face dogs get but he also had that adorable wolfie grin like he was always laughing.

Who comes into a home and steals a beloved pet? Who does that? What kind of evil human being breaks a families heart like that? I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to rant and rage and just stop this empty feeling in my heart and knot of dread in the pit of my stomach.

I'm between denial and anger. I pray to anybody up in the skies listening. Please...PLEASE let him be okay.

If he never returns....please let him be in a good home with people that love him and are kind to him. Let him stay warm and comfortable and live long and happy and have plenty of milkbones and tennis balls.

I have to stop. My eyes are wtering so much it makes it hard to see. I'm offering a hundred dollar reward for his return, but I am not optimistic. God, I know I'm contrary and difficult. And I question everything and don't try enough, but please be kind to this wicked sinner even if she doesn't deserve it. I will.....no. No empty promises I won't remember. Please help him. Please let them b good to him. Please. From the bottom of my heart of hearts.


- meow

Location:Home

Severus and other Flawed characters

Im re-reading Bree Despain "The Dark Divine" and I had a bit of a revelation. I hate perfect people. Grrrrr. The character Grace is so "good" she's stupid. Never questioning her parents, doing things people tell her to do. Not pushing?

I guess I don't like it cuz I can't relate. I like flawed characters. I like the thought of redemption and correcting mistakes. I guess it's cuz I'm flawed and like to believe in salvation.

Perfect Grace is so damn annoying. If my fam sent me away an my pseudo bro disappeared, I wouldn't meekly leave, return and go back to normal. WTF?! I'd go Nancy Drew on their asses. Grace can't even lie to her parents. Her bro gets all wierd, her pseudo bro disappears and she returns to life as usual?

She didn't deserve Daniel.

I'm frustrated. I have to go cuz I have to stop this stupid audio book. It's pissing me off.

Location:Home...reading

10 years...Holy Cow

Day off and listening to Snapecast, which I haven't listened to in about a year.... Its their 4-yr anniversary and as they reminisce, so do I.

2007 sounds like it was so long ago. So long ago. Nostalgia.... Thanks to my crack-head co-workers, Im a Facebook fiend and update like crazy. Since I've been using it for a few months, recently, I had a lot of high school friends adding and requesting me. I think I kinda freaked. not because I didn't want to talk to these people or anything, but it just brought so much to the forefront.

Next year...(in a few months) will make 10 years since graduation. What the hell happened in all these years?

Its like i was so caught up w my own life and experiences and got some tunnel vision and before I know it, its about to be time for the reunion. wow.

I think I kind of got a little panic attack when I start thinking about it. Am I going to go next year? I used to say Hell No. Now that I actually started chatting with some of the HS crowd on FB, it might not be so bad.

Time needs to stop. now.

Oh yeah...side note...went to Magic 2weeks ago w my Baby Daddy, Alex, and Milti and ended up passing out from heat stroke.....LMAO. Never thought I would be one of those people. My poor boys. I kinda killed the mood. In my defense, it was so hot the burn on my hand that was already a week old, started bubbling just from standing in line. it was 90+. Looking forward to making it up, at least to my Baby Daddy by going to see Phantom of The Opera in 10 days and will enjoy Oktoberfest this sat!!!

Poems for my life esp about my love life

"If little by little. You stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
You forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you.

But
If each day, each hour,
You feel that you are destined for me
With impecable sweetness,
If each day a flower
Climbs up to your lips to seek me,
Ah my love, ah my own,
In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
My love feeds on your love, beloved,
And as long as you live it will be in your arms
Without leaving mine"

- If you Forget Me by Pablo Naruto

"In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: 'Is it good, friend?'
'It is bitter-bitter,' he answered;
'But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart.'"

-In the Desert by Stephen Crane




- Meow

Getting old and perspectives

I know I'm getting old when I check out a cute guy and my eyes scroll to his left hand and look for a wedding ring.

I'm laying in bed watching Alaska State Troopers and Its struck an attraction w rugged law men. Hmm...I think tonight is a romance novel night. Hahaha! I crack myself up.


- Meow

BBQs, birfdays, and being hungover

Confused again. H came in and came around a couple of times but I couldn't acknowledge him because I was so busy, but as I finally made my way to the back, I bumped into him and he gave me this look.

Being me, I punched him on his arm and said Happy Belated.

He nodded and said he wasbwaiting to see how long it would take me. That he'd been coming around me and I didn't say anything.

I punched him again. And wished him another Happy Birthday.

Why is he even conceded if I remember? I'm tired and cranky and I'm so hungover and ready to knock out. Something else to bug me and pick at the back of my mind

- Meow

To forget

So to keep busy today was a GOOD day. Started off w some Little Tokyo and D-licious OROCHON and then went shopping and ended the night with baby daddy, his bro and cunada @a random bar for lezbian night for bro's coworker's girlfriends bday! Fan-freaking-tabulous. I'm going to be hella hung over tomorrow morning for


work, but in a good way


- Meow